Mental Illness
Thursday, August 24, 2006
By DIANE HAINES
HERALD NEWS
Fasting is a common religious practice.
Jews pray and fast on Yom Kippur.
Fasting and abstinence is required of faithful Roman Catholics during Lent. Meat is generally avoided on Fridays.
Muslims fast during the day and eat small meals after sundown during the month-long observance of Ramadan.
The serious nature of the practice, however was lost on one of Rehan Seyam's high school classmates.
Seyam, who is of Egyptian heritage, grew up in West Islip, N.Y., where there was little or no understanding of Muslim beliefs or customs.
"I was the only Muslim at school," she says. At the time she dressed like the other students but used to isolate herself during Ramadan.
One year she tried keeping a regular schedule and went to the cafeteria at lunchtime although she had no plans to eat.
"Someone asked me, 'Aren't you hungry?' I said no but she shoved a French fry in my mouth and said, 'No one will see.' God is going to see and that's what mattered to me.
"It was difficult growing up. They were all different from me," says Seyam of Parsippany.
That has changed. Now that she works part-time in Paterson, where there is a large and growing Arabic community, her new challenge is to teach it about the benefits of psychotherapy in treating mental and emotional disorders.
It's a tough sell.
"There's a very big difference between how they and non-Arab-Americans view mental illness," says Seyam, who works for the Mental Health Association in Passaic County in Clifton and is assigned to Barnert Hospital in Paterson two days each week.
During her third year of college, Seyam says, she decided to be covered as required by Muslim custom for all women at puberty. She now wears a hijab, the traditional Muslim headdress, and modest, flowing garments. The hijab, which frames her face, draws attention to her huge, luminous brown eyes. The lavender hijab matches a long-sleeved, loose-fitting blouse worn over a floor-length black skirt, along with black sequined, thong sandals.
Speaking of the beliefs of the Arab community, she says, "They understand the physical symptoms of an illness, but not the emotional. In many cases they believe these problems can be cared for religiously, by reading the holy book or, for example, treating your wife with respect as the holy book says. Therapy is often frowned upon; it's a last resort."
But Seyam learned as a child the usefulness of therapy. Growing up in a suburban neighborhood, Seyam says, at age 7 she suffered from low self-esteem. A school counselor helped her and set her on a career path.
"She was fabulous. Everybody loved her. She made an impact on your life," she says of the counselor.
For that reason, Seyam, 25, studied psychology and wants to help others, although she knows it is going to be difficult. She has worked at the hospital only since July 18 and has only six clients. Some are children having trouble adjusting to school.
She is seated next to a wooden desk that holds a computer but little else. It's in a tiny white second-floor office at the hospital on Broadway. Some of the plaster is peeling. A bookshelf is topped with a thriving Wandering Jew plant and contains a clock, professional journals and periodicals. Her name is on the door in cut-out green and yellow letters. A Burberry handbag is hung on a black metal hook on the back of the door.
The 256-bed acute-care facility, which was founded in 1908 by Nathan Barnert, a onetime Paterson mayor and philanthropist, was established to provide care for indigent, immigrant mill workers, many of whom were Jewish.
Over its 98-year history the hospital has continued its dedication to treating the poor and ethnically diverse population of Paterson and surrounding communities. The medical and professional staff speaks 35 languages. Seyam speaks and reads Arabic.
She said she grew up in a family that never pushed her or her two sisters to be religious.
"Religion was encouraged but it was never forced on us," she says. On weekends the family traveled for about 30 to 40 minutes to attend services at a mosque.
It was understood that after school, she was to return home from East Islip High School to complete her homework. After that, she was required to master her older sister's schoolwork. No television was allowed. Seyam was an A student.
She lived at home and attended the State University of New York at Stony Brook with the plan that she would become a doctor. She says she was unhappy because her real interest was in psychology. Her parents were reluctant to accept that.
"They wanted me to be a doctor, lawyer or engineer. That's what Middle Eastern parents want," says Seyam. Finally they agreed when she told them she would be getting a doctorate in psychology.
Her plans changed somewhat in March 2003 when she attended a conference for Islamic leadership and met her future husband, Rami Seyam of Denville, an optometrist from an Egyptian family.
They were married in May 2004 and moved to Parsippany. That meant Seyam needed to meet New Jersey licensing standards. She graduated in May 2006 with a master's degree in applied clinical psychology from William Paterson University in Wayne
She explains that a friend sent her an e-mail about a job opening. She thought the e-mail was some kind of cruel joke, but it turned out to be true.
"It was very much fate," says Seyam, who started work at the Mental Health Association in Passaic County on July 10 and was assigned part-time to Barnert a few days later.
Reach Diane Haines at 973-569-7046 or haines@northjersey.com.
Where to get help
The Arab American Community Partnership is a counseling service that helps local people with mental or emotional problems. For more information call Raja Salloum, community liaison, at the Mental Health Association in Passaic County: 973-478-4444 ext. 70.